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My son and his wife come up with some very very funny stuff on their feed..... warning, lurid but hilarious.........
Can we post slightly off-color adult humor or must we behave as though the board is being viewed by seven year-old Moodies fans?
Here's one I snatched off Comedy Central site on the Topic "69" Naive me, thought it was going to be an age joke.
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69.
And she said,
“No, but I have done 53
-- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”
A man is out of work, he and his wife discuss it, and they decide she should go "back to work" ..... she said she would try prostitution as that was all she could do.... and it was better than being a housemaid!!
Anyway when he got home from his job search, she proudly showed him the $20.25 she had earned. "What cheap jerk gave you twenty five cents???"
"Why all of them silly!" she replied..........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men are squashed during the San Francisco earthquake while carpooling and they all go to heaven. As it so happened they had been discussing their wives a the time, each man of course, convinced his wife was the best ever. So when they got to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter informed them that Heaven was a big place, and they needed cars to get around. They were awarded cars on the basis of how faithful they had been to their wives in life.
So the first guy had never strayed, and he got a Mazarati (a red one) he happily zoomed off to explore Heaven.
The next guy had slipped once or twice, so he got a Volvo. He too zoomed away.
The third guy had messed around a LOT on his wife, and was issued a used VW, and he clunked off to his new existence, thankful it at least had wheels and rolled.
An hour later the VW and Volvo came upon the Mazarati parked on a side street, the driver crying his eyes out. "My wife was killed too! I saw her!"
"Well that's cool, she's with you here in Paradise" said his friends.
"No no you don't understand! She was on a skateboard!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know some pretty wicked nun jokes, but they even make me blush so I won't put them up. I hope those aren't stale jokes... they do wear out after a while.
OK it's your turn in the barrel.... got another good one? My idea of a good joke is one you can tell in front of the kids, and they won't get it but the grown ups do. Like the Muppet show. THAT was a hilarious show, LOTS of things that went over the kids' heads.
Obama is visiting an elementary school in rural West Virginia. He stands silently before the assembled student body and starts to clap his hands slowly. He then says, "Every time I clap my hands, a child dies due to gun violence." A little girl in the back of the auditorium shouts, "Well, stop clapping, stupid!"
bringing this conversation over from the movie thread....
this is what I call "milking it" but it was funny to watch anyway--Leggy and Thranduil laughing-you won't see this anywhere else folks....these girls are watching a trailer to the desolation of smaug-someone caught them on camera and I think? it was posted courtesy Peter Jackson himself)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....sB0nIQQf60
5+6=11
COOL thank you and Pete Jackson for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOO FUNNY. Those elves have to be too serious most of the time, that's a fun moment. The teeny boppers were in the bag for Orlando obviously, and their reaction was much like mind last night, I was howling.
Humor is such a delicate thing. we need to remember to laugh WITH people and not AT them....
OK leslee..... get ready.... you'll love this. (you too Sphinx, be kind to our hero now ) Bless Justin, even our Beloved Perfect Rock God boo boos sometimes. (That lounge was SO packed with Justin fanatics, do you think they minded???)
He's so kee-yute! kee-yute! kee-yute! I had to watch it twice, but then I had to get work to back. What booboo? It's a list song, so the order is irrelevant. He's the artist, so he can interpret his own songs as he wishes. I think he was trying to tell a special lady that gazing at her was so profound he lost his concentration. I only minded in that it wasn't MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Iss Otay, though.
Thanks for sharing. I didn't want to come here lest I stumble upon a dirty joke, but I"m glad I did.
Eh he's ok. I was just watching the Hobbit, Martin Freeman is pretty cute too, very much my type. But Justin for sure gets points for showmanship. Well done.
Naw I think the "special lady" stuff was on the LAST cruise during that song. And I ain't a talkin'
Onwaard.................
(cute. cute she mutters.......... )
I imagined Ha! to taste kind of like ginger, cilantro, tropical fruit, maybe herbs from the licorice family - not paper. But if it's paper, with an inky twang, so be it.
Gulp? Gulp? If this is what Justin wants/likes. Gulp?
I'm trying to sound passetics. For the uninitiated, passetics is dog talk for pathetic, as in, "Hers is passetics."
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